Feast Day Healing Moment

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All Souls Day

It was a cold and hollow day. The memories are like the November branches in Cleveland; dark, cold and stark against the impending and heavy winter sky. Somehow navigating our family; three grown children, their spouses, and four little grandchildren (ages four and under) and myself, seemed an almost impossible chasm of movement to undertake. We were stealthily quiet, heavy with this grief as we prepared to leave for my husband's funeral. His sudden death had left me stunned on an island of disbelief and robotic movement.

The grandchildren were toddlers, except for my daughter's newborn baby girl, Elleyna, born that same fateful day. Her tiny body was strapped in a cocoon of cloth next to her mother's heartbeat. How could they possibly understand the ominous cloud of grief that had the adults moving tearfully through this day? We dressed in the dark colors of winter and mourning and finally left in several cars--for the church. There is a surreal quality to the funeral of someone who has been the biggest part of your life and is suddenly, inexplicably gone--I watched even myself, from another place outside of myself.

It was All Souls day, a day celebrated in the Catholic Church because of our belief in the powerful spiritual bond between those in heaven now and the living. It commemorates, in prayer, all those who have gone on from this world. I don't remember if the priest mentioned this at the funeral mass or not. I wondered if others were praying for my husband or for us to survive day. It was a beautiful funeral mass, I was told, and from what I remember I think it was.

It was the next day that I remember the first etchings of memories. Our family attended mass at St. Dominic's Church, a lovely church my husband had found for the two of us, now that the kids were grown and gone. The priest's homilies and the choir's music from the balcony brought me to tears many times, even before his death, but now the words and music vibrated in my empty heart, the shattered pieces blowing about inside me. I needed communion, a way to still the wind in the empty chambers, the consecration felt palpable as I ate the host.

During communion, angelic notes floated from the balcony as the singer sang the litany of names of the departed and I watched one by one as people filed up to the altar to receive communion. I thought to myself, they have probably all lost someone too. I admonished myself, wishing I had somehow thought to add my husband's name to the litany, and my father's name too, (who had died only three weeks prior). I hung my head as tears streamed down my face, blurring everything else, but the singing, when I heard both of their names sung. I slowly turned, looking up at the balcony, unsure for a moment...but their names were floating towards the altar. Fr. Tom had graciously added both of their names to the litany of names for All Souls Day.

Two years later, I have added other losses to the names of the departed. All Souls is a day to remember and to pray in a special way, a way I had not understood before. The kindness and mercy of a priest, the friends and family who showed up, the beauty of those names sung.first graces to mend my broken heart.

After mass that day, I witnessed my first granddaughter's baptism. We stood around the altar with our heavy, broken hearts and somehow smiled at the beauty of her baptism, even newborn Elleyna was quiet. That day holds what I know to be true for all my days; the great sorrows and blessings, the heartache and the gratitude intertwine themselves and become a part of who we are, and God's love and mercy are the golden threads weaving together each of our lives, until our day comes when our name will be sung in faithful remembrance, a prayer of recognition and love between heaven and earth. Amen.

By Debra

Prayer for All Souls Day

Jesus, dear Savior,

On this day we prayerfully remember all our loved ones who have died.

Please give them comfort and hope and may they be at peace, knowing that they will rest in God’s arm eternally. Thank You for our memories of them and for the good times we shared. We ask You, please, through their intercession, to deepen our faith, strengthen our hope and increase our love that we, too, may someday stand before You, ready to enter Your Holy Kingdom.

Amen.

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Daily Readings

First Reading: Wisdom 3: 1-9

Responsorial Psalm: Psalms 23: 1-3a, 3b-4, 5, 6

Second Reading: Romans 5: 5-11

Alleluia: Matthew 25: 34

Gospel: John 6: 37-40